Girl on Girl Inaction

Courtesy: realbollywood.com

If she's told us once, she's told us a thousand times - the Big O is no lesbian. 

Not that there would be any issue if she were. In fact, Oprah would probably be the first person to tell us if she decided to bat for the other team: 

"I'm not even kind of a lesbian," the talk show queen, 56, tells Walters. "And the reason why [the rumor] irritates me is because it means that somebody must think I'm lying. That's No. 1. No. 2 ... why would you want to hide it? That is not the way I run my life."

So why is it such a big deal to the Star's and National Enquirer's of the world to try and take down this daytime diva? 

By suggesting that Oprah is gay, the media is insinuating that homosexuality is a flaw worthy of ridicule. And I think my friends at disco brunch would beg to differ.

Perhaps it's because Oprah and Ellen Degeneres are recently minted BFF's. But as Ellen continues through the eighth season of her wildly successful talk show, one can assume that her lesbianism isn't a career-ending revelation.

The rumors began swirling again when Oprah and Gayle went camping earlier this fall. But if camping makes you gay, then Sarah Palin and her entire family will be two-stepping out of the closet any day now.

So what is it about our Op-ster that screams "lesbian" to so many people? 

Maybe it's because she and Stedman never married. Although honestly, if you were Oprah, would you want to share your self-made wealth with anyone else? There aren't enough pre-nups in the world for all of her millions. 

And Stedman seems to be quite content that Oprah never put a ring on it. So it seems a tad inappropriate for us to demand it of her on his behalf.

I think the Human Rights Campaign (a national association that advocates for the LGBT community) should give Oprah an honorary lesbian badge for all that she's endured. Never before have I seen someone so hounded for being straight. 

I pride myself on being a gay man trapped in a woman's body. And maybe it's because I'm not the host of a 25-year-old talk show but Barbara Walters has never called me to ask for an interview about it. 

Attention, tabloids: let Oprah enjoy her heterosexuality in peace. There will be plenty of other Hollywood lesbians to come out of the closet in due time.