Van Wilder Is Now A Single Lady

Courtesy: Listal.com

Maybe dreams do come true?


It was only yesterday that I last blogged about Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens splitting up, leaving Efron vulnerable to my seductive charms. Now another Christmas-came-early gift has arrived. 


It was just announced that Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson are no more.


The pair tied the knot in September 2008 in a Vancouver ceremony after getting together the year before. They were one of the few Hollywood couples to successfully keep the details of their relationship under wraps. An ability that's hard to come by in today's Tweet-obsessed culture. 


But unlike Jay-Z and Beyonce, their quest for privacy did not protect them from the inevitable Hollywood-relationship demise. Reynolds' rep released a statement today stating:


"After long and careful consideration on both our parts, we've decided to end our marriage," they say in a joint statement. "We entered our relationship with love and it's with love and kindness we leave it. While privacy isn't expected, it's certainly appreciated." 


Ryan, while I'd love to give you everything you desire and more, privacy right now just isn't going to cut it. You're simply too hot.


Sources close to Johansson cite distance as one of the primary reasons for the couple's split. Hectic work schedules and bicoastal homes weren't quite doing it for the pair. Kendra Wilkinson (of Playboy fame) very often credits Skype sex for keeping her long distance marriage alive to NFL pro Hank Baskett. But apparently ScarJo and Ry Ry never got on board with the trend.


I know that the end of a marriage is a sad thing. I'm not completely cold-hearted (debatable, I know). But as a longtime fan of Reynolds and an ambivalent observer of ScarJo, I can't say I'm heartbroken. 


Honestly, I would have rather seen him tie the knot to one-time fiancée Alanis Morissette than settle down with Woody Allen's muse. 


I know that "technically" ScarJo isn't a homewrecking trollop despite her portrayal of said character in numerous films. But I also know that I'm not a big enough person to separate fact from fiction when I see her out and about. 


Or when Justin Timberlake killed her character in the "What Goes Around" video, I wasn't shedding any tears at the artistic imagery. I was just happy she was gone.


In reality, Ryan won't coming knocking at my door any second now that he's single (although I'm leaving it unlocked just in case). But there is at least an increased likelihood of a meaningless one night stand if I were to "stumble" across his next movie set. And I can get on board with those kinds of odds.


I'm truly sorry it didn't work out guys. But Ryan - please see my previous blog post for the number you can call to get in touch ;-)