Kristen Stewart Announces New Film: Snow White is a Ho

Credit: UsWeekly.com

I told you she was a skank.

But who could have predicted that this uber-private, socially awkward vampirette would have so publicly betrayed the one man naive enough to date her?

Say it ain't so, gurl.

Except she did say it was so, in one of the worst public apologies ever written, by releasing this statement:

"I'm deeply sorry for the hurt and embarrassment I've caused to those close to me and everyone this has affected. This momentary indiscretion has jeopardized the most important thing in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob. I love him, I love him, I'm so sorry," Stewart said in a statement to People magazine.


See, when a person says I love you TWO times, it really means they're sorry. So no harm done.

Except she's still a skank.


To compound the atrocity of her actions, her fling was with "Snow White and the Huntsman" director, Rupert Sanders, a married man and father of two small kids. Sanders' wife even played Kristen's mother in the film. 


Talk about trading down.


There's really never a positive that comes out of a cheating scandal, as evidenced by Arnold Schwarzenegger, John Edwards, Jesse James and Hugh Grant (what was with that hooker??)

Credit: JustJared.com

And although I never wish ill upon anyone (that's a lie), the one solace I can take away from Kristen's lapse in judgment is that, perhaps, Rob will finally see her for the blight she is and drop her faster than you can say why-does-she-suck-so-much.

My other gripe about this situation is that, for a 41-year-old, Rupert Sanders is pretty damn cute. So can someone please explain to me how THIS girl (see image to the right) is pulling all these attractive men??

Sure, she's not a complete eyesore, but she has the personality of a desk lamp.

And I'm guessing since she and Rob have been together for over three years now, they've probably stopped making out and chain smoking long enough to have a conversation or two. You would have thought that would be enough to scare him off.

But he's British so maybe they just have lower standards on the other side of the pond.

I hope the world has learned its lesson - when I say someone's a whore, I'm usually right. And beyond that, the girl can't act so please stop giving her roles opposite Hollywood greats like Charlize Theron and Michael Sheen. She's much better suited for a job that requires little to no human interaction, like a dolphin keeper at the zoo.

Although I'd never do that to the dolphins.

I hope Rob (and Hollywood) wake up and smell the prostitute. Kristen Stewart has made her overly awkward bed and now has to lie in it.

Enjoy Breaking Dawn 2, girlfriend, cuz that's the last time I'll ever voluntarily watch your mug on the big screen without throwing used diapers at it.

To sum up this post in a nutshell: Snow White can suck it.