He Put A Ring On It!!

Credit: Us Weekly

Get ready for some more Team Angie vs. Aniston in-fighting because Papa Pitt just popped the question!!

No, I don't mean the age-old dilemma of boxers vs. briefs, but rather, Pitt asked the mother of his 72 children for her hand in marriage. And that girl said yes in a hot tranny second (wouldn't you?)

As a staunch supporter of Team Brangelina from the homewrecking start, I have been pulling for this outcome for quite a while. I don't really believe in love or marriage, but I do believe in these two crazy kids.

They seem to have mastered the delicate balance of parenthood, demanding work schedules, and a very healthy sex life complete with toys.

And who doesn't love toys?

There's no date set for this latest answer to a slow celebrity news cycle (the Kardashians ain't got nothin' on this media frenzy), but I'll share more once I get my invitation in the mail. I'm pretty sure the Plaza in June isn't at the top of their priority list.

Moment of silence - we simply can't forget Jen in all this. She found love with Justin Theroux, but this just has to be another kick in the nuts for her.

She can't get her nails done or buy groceries without seeing her face plastered next to Angie's in the tabloids, and this is bound to make it worse. Next thing you know, she'll be checking into rehab for "stress-related" issues.

I mean, I'm checking into rehab too, so I can't judge.

But this girl can't catch a break. First, the sexiest man alive divorces her because he's banging Angie on the set of Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Next up, they're living together and adopting triplets every six months. And now, their pending nuptials are about to make Will & Kate's wedding look like a backyard BBQ.

Wanderlust already flopped in the box office - can't we just leave this woman alone?

I'm sure, as a sign of respect, Brangelina will plan something tasteful and elegant, away from the watching eyes of paparazzi everywhere. Angie has made it clear that she has no friends, so the wedding party should only consist of their 86 children, George Clooney, and a vial of Billy Bob's blood for good luck.

So congrats, you two! I look forward to drooling over more delicious pics of you guys as you celebrate your love. And if you wind up needing a good divorce lawyer, I heard that JLo knows several.

#Brangelina4ever