They Nabbed 'Whitey'

Credit: Boston.com

The world could use a few more mob bosses.

James "Whitey" Bulger, the infamous mob boss who inspired Jack Nicholson's character in 'The Departed', was scooped up by the FBI last night in Santa Monica, CA after 16 years on the run.

When was the last time you heard someone refer to being "on the lam"? For me, it was just this morning when Matt Lauer shared the Whitey-nabbing story on the TODAY show.

That 20th-century term for fugitives on the run needs to be brought back into our modern day vernacular in a big way.

Bulger, who is set to appear in court on Thursday, faces charges of murder, conspiracy to commit murder, narcotics distribution, extortion and money laundering.

Throw in conspiracy to steal sports memorabilia and he sounds a lot like O.J. Simpson.

I'm not embarassed to admit that I watch the soap opera 'General Hospital' on quite the regular basis. One of the principal characters - Michael "Sonny" Corinthos - is a legendary mob boss in the little town of Port Charles, NY. Without him, the town (and show) would be nothing.

But besides Whitey, who can remember hearing about a real-life mob boss banging around on his private island? Despite what the folks on 'Mob Wives' tell you, mob bosses are a dying breed and I, for one, am saddened because of it.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not trivializing murder or asking for mobsters to be given a free pass. But wouldn't the world be a slightly more entertaining place if we had more old school mob bosses running the joint?

I'm not thinking throwing-people-off-rooftops mobsters (although if they deserve it, what can ya do?), more like crazy-party-throwing, feather-in-fedora-wearing mobsters.

The same guys who will open up a cancer wing at a hospital just after roughing up someone for not paying their gambling debt. Or the guys who conduct business in the back of their "legit" Italian restaurants while chainsmoking Cuban cigars.

Those are the guys we need more of. Modern day criminals are just pansies.

I'm particularly saddened that Whitey was living basically in my backyard and I didn't get to even meet him. He was hiding out in a penthouse apartment just blocks from the beach while the Feds were chasing fake leads in Santorini. That's a guy I can get behind.

Whitey is 81 now and has definitely passed into the golden years of his life. I think he has enough connections in prison that he'll be just fine finishing out his days behind bars.

Just give him a pack of smokes to trade in for a shank and a hooker and call it a day.