How hard is it to get a Hollywood scandal in 2011? It really must be the end of days.
So far, the best thing we've had is an engagement announcement from Jesse James and Kat Man D. I'm not impressed. Fast forward a few months and we'll find out that Kat caught James with three tattooed hookers and some blow. Rumors will begin to swirl that they are divorcing after 12 days of holy matrimony and there's a 62% chance she's pregnant.
Been there, seen that. Have the DVD collection to prove it.
Yesterday we learned that Charlie Sheen was rushed to the hospital for a hernia after partying with porn stars all night. That is SO 2010!
And where is Tiger Woods? Don't tell me he's been behaving himself and focusing on his golf game instead of taking home strippers?! Even Lindsay has been behaving herself since she got out of Betty Ford. Give me a break, people.
Every day I comb the celebrity gossip headlines searching for f-ups to entertain you. It is now almost February and I've had nothing to rant about besides how many forms of hepatitis Jesse James and Kat Man D may share.
I had more scandal at my goodbye party in San Francisco when I tried to whip my hair back and forth.
I was most disappointed today when I got news of a celebrity dye job. Ashlee Simpson reportedly bleached her hair platinum blonde and Us Weekly decided to send an email update all about it.
Since when did it become news that a pseudo celebrity found out what peroxide does? Especially one who can't even spell her name right. AshlEE? C'mon. That's just unnecessary.
In an ideal world, I will soon report to you all that Elton John is actually straight, Justin Bieber is really a lesbian in disguise and the Octomom is pregnant with Richard Simmons' baby. And they are having triplets.
Until then, enjoy the peace in Tinseltown because it is bound to end within a week.
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