Note to Self: Never Pull A Jessica Simpson

Credit: Thefrisky.com

Just when we thought Jessica Simpson couldn't get any blonder...

Congratulations are in order to Jessica Simpson and her beau, NFL freelancer Eric Johnson, who announced their engagement this weekend.

Coincidentally, their announcement is just days after Simpson's ex-husband, Nick Lachey, announced his engagement to longterm girlfriend Vanessa Ma-I'm-so-boring. But who's counting?

Despite the fact that Simpson and Johnson have only been dating since May, I was actually happy for the little lass when I heard the news. After several failed dalliances with John Mayer and having the entire Dallas Cowboys team turning against her during her relationship with quarterback Tony Romo, I figured now is the time for Simpson to shine in love. We all deserve to be happy in whatever way it takes to get us there.

But happy and naive do not seem to be mutually exclusive for Simpson. Perez Hilton and I were both shocked to learn that along with Simpson's decision to say "I do" came the accompanying decision to not have her fiancée sign a prenup before walking down the aisle.

Simpson's wealth is rumored to total somewhere around $100 million from record sales, clothing and fragrance lines, and God knows what else she spends her time doing. Johnson, though an NFL pro, has been unemployed for some time and hasn't exactly been paying his way through his six-month relationship with Jessica.

You would think Jess would have learned her lesson from her last marriage. Nick Lachey's untalented behind walked away with $10 million of Jessica's not-so-hard-earned dough after their divorce last decade. And that was well before QVC took any big interest in hawking Jessica's wares.

Fast forward a few failed relationships and Jessica is ready to sound the wedding bells once more with nothing more than her hopes and dreams to fuel the marriage.

I'm not saying her relationship is doomed, but considering her track record you would think our Southern belle would be a bit more cautious on this second go-round.

My career as Dirt Dishing Dame has yet to garner millions, but I tried nevertheless to put myself in Ms. Simpson's shoes. Personally, break ups are enough of a loss that I doubt I would want to compound it by losing my vacation home in Cabo as well. Call me crazy, but I would do all I could to hold onto that house and use it as my cabana boy getaway in case my marriage went south.

It's not ideal to consider the worst when getting hitched, but it's also less than ideal to watch your money being spent on jock straps by your ex because you didn't plan accordingly.

As my parting words of advice for Jessica, I invite you to view the lyrics to "Sign the Prenup" by KRS-One & Greenie. Pure poetry awaits you.