Welcome to Miami (Bienvenidos a Miami)!

No I'm not based in Miami and no I'm not a long lost Kardashian sister. But every good blog should begin with a Will Smith shout out!

Welcome to all my E! and Access Hollywood addicts who simply can't get enough of Perez Hilton's multiple gossip updates. This blog was created for you - Gaga's little monsters, Adam Lambert's divas in training and for the girls on 16 and Pregnant who are confined to their houses due to unexpected teenage knock-ups.

As a lifelong entertainment industry fanatic, I'm going to boldly go where EVERY (wo)man has gone before (and no, I don't mean Pam Anderson's bed) by digging deep into celebrity culture for your reading pleasure.

I'm not your mom and I won't mince words. If you:

• Do something in the media spotlight worth tearing apart, consider yourself torn (Tiger Woods, this means you). 
• Get caught on your second drug bust in two months (Paris), I'm going to first ask your parents where they went wrong and then grill you for all it's worth. 
• And, if you're planning on jumpstarting your career through porn (Ms. Fishburne/Hilton/Kardashian/et al), I will never take you seriously as long as this blog shall live.

So without further ado, let's dive deep into this crazy world we call Hollywood and dish some dirt...